What I am about to share comes from a place of knowing, caring and honestly, being a little worn out. I was going to write an article about understanding AI and society (maybe another time), but I think we have all had enough of that lately.

Instead, I decided to write about another equally tired, yet somehow unsolved mystery:

Money 💸.

To be clear - this is not a rant.
This is not commentary on capitalism or greed or ethics.

This is about understanding. This is part of my life’s work.

Calling Out Money

We still don’t talk about money enough.

We joke about it, stress about it, chase it, avoid it, or pretend we don’t care about it.

But all of us - at one point or another - have whispered the most universal sentence of modern humans on Earth:

You know the rest:

• …buy food

• …pay bills

• ...quit my job

• …build a school

• …start a business

• …take a break

• ...help a friend

• …donate to charity

• …disappear?

You’ve thought it. Maybe today. Maybe right now. Maybe it caused you a ton of anxiety and worry (if so, I sincerely apologize). Maybe it gave you hope.

Deep breath. Let’s keep going…

Money Isn’t Just a Tool

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Money doesn’t just buy things - it shapes what we think is possible.

It influences our choices, dreams, relationships, and even our sense of worth.

If you don’t have enough money, life sucks.
If you have too much, life can also suck - just in different ways.

Money is strange like that - a bit like oil in water.
Necessary, but never quite blending comfortably with life.

And yet, try asking yourself:

• If I already had the money, what would I actually do (“spend it” doesn’t count)?

• What do I want? What do I actually need?

• What would I build? Who would I help? Who would I be?

Money is Overloaded

Humans need food, water, shelter, time, love, health, joy and so much more.

In the year 2025 A.D., whether it’s a need from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 1.0 or 2.0 (2.0 from Manfred Max-Neef in the book Human Scale Development), money has become a placeholder for almost all needs.

You can’t eat money, drink it, wear it, or live inside it…
money doesn’t care, it doesn’t have an opinion, it doesn’t love you or hate you,
and yet you need it to do almost anything.

Money is tired, it has been overworked and underpaid (that’s a joke).

And we’re tired too (that part isn’t funny).

The Worm in My Brain

To prove that I am human (and not a robot), I will definitely say that I need money and I have to think about it, just like we all do, just like we all need air, water, food, shelter, etc.

I dislike having to think so much about it. I’m mad at myself for even writing about it. I also think I cannot find something important to say about it if all I am doing is worrying about it.

There are variations on “money thoughts” and (also) lamentations:

• “If I had money, I would...”

• “If I had money like they do, I would...”

• “I need money to.....”

• “It just costs so much money…”

• “I don’t have enough money for…”

• …I could go on

I recently took a sabbatical - something I planned and feel incredibly fortunate to experience. I recognize the privilege.

Even during sabbatical, money has been in my face every day, sometimes every hour or minute, all the time. It’s like a small persistent worm nibbling through the brain. Cute in cartoons, less cute in real life.

Even when I try to tell the money monsters inside my head (and outside too) to “stop it with the money thing”, they do not go away easily! If for a moment you can stop thinking, wondering, worrying - someone else will likely very soon remind you:

• “So… how are you going to make money?”

• “Aren’t you worried about money?”

• “You need to get rich and win the lottery.”

Or, I am reminded by that bill I need to pay or the prices of things in the grocery store.

Money Won’t Leave Us Alone

One could say that “money just won’t leave us alone” in the sense of the always-present burden that comes with thinking about money, needing it, wanting it, etc. Some may jokingly wish for “money to bother them much more often, especially big boatloads of it”!

Whether we like it or not, we can’t stop talking or worrying about money.

I’ve tried leaving money behind but it keeps finding me. Money, I want to quit you!

The irony that I just made you all think about money… again… is not lost on me.

And yet, our relationship with money is fleeting. It’s almost as if money has a mind of its own - leaving our lives just as fast as it enters.

Those of us who are constantly opening our purses and wallets or pulling out the credit card might feel like our money is constantly fleeing our presence. Every time I open my wallet… money jumps out and flies away 💸. Heck, money flies out of my bank account without me ever even touching it.

Whether money goes on its own, is given, or is taken - often when it goes we feel a loss or sense of security. It is almost as if “money has left us and now we feel alone”. Empty-pocket syndrome. In some ways, being free of money can be freeing, but we also strongly feel its absence.

Or, more seriously, as I have seen a number of times - those who have enormous amounts of money often find themselves alone and isolated. Having lots of money does not necessarily solve anything.

In this sense, money can feel cruel.

Twenty Questions for Money

Questioning money is like questioning time - neither has existed as long as the universe, but both control how we live inside it. On a geologic time scale, money (e.g. currency) is a pretty small blip on the timeline.

Here are some interesting questions I think we should ask more often:

• What would I do if I actually had the money to…?

• What would happen if I lost all the money I have, how would I go from there?

  • I hope you never have to actually answer this question, and I care for those that have or are going through this.

• What would I do if I had way too much money? What would I do with it?

  • Once I have enough money, and I have satisfied essentially all my needs and wants related to it, what am I going to do with it?

  • This seems like a nice problem to have but from the experiences I have seen with people who encounter it, it actually isn’t that nice of a problem at all.

• Do I really need as much money as I thought I did?

  • How much money do I really need, and do I really need what I can buy with that money?

• What if I didn’t think or worry about money first, what would I think of instead?

• …and the list goes on here as well.

We Have to Figure This Out

I respect money. I need it. I live in the same world you do. But I’ve never been motivated by money for its own sake.

Maybe that’s foolish. Maybe it’s exactly why I care about this.

You may notice that my Substack isn’t monetized. That’s not a mistake.

I might need money too, but right now, I’m chasing something else:
a way to live, work, and help others without money being the first and last question.

What I’m Working On

I realized that “figuring out money” isn’t just an interesting topic to me - it is part of my vocation.

I am working on it, and I have some thoughts.

The truth is, I want to push myself hard, maybe for the rest of my life, until I figure something out that helps us humans about money.

This goes towards a fundamental philosophy for me. I want to live a good, reasonable, practical life - have some fun, and as much as possible enjoy the big three: health, wealth and happiness. My happiness comes from the love of my family, my friends, and caring about other humans.

My Own Answer (For Now)

Breaking it down, I notice several things:

• If I had money, I wouldn’t worry about it. So I am searching for a solution that provides money, so that I can not worry about money, so that I can help others first.

  • If I could do something that would satisfy the need to have money and help others first, then my problem is solved and what I can do to help others can be realized.

  • If I am subject to analysis paralysis, worrying about having money is preventing me from important and meaningful action. This is bad.

• I’d rather figure out how to help others first, without having to worry about having money at all.

• I genuinely care about other people - this is important to me.

  • How amazing can it feel to start from a place of thinking about helping and doing good without worrying about money, even before I have the money to do so?

Your Turn

So here it is - the challenge:

If you had the money, what would you do?

(Really. Think about it. Write it down. Tell someone.)

P.S. If you still want that AI + technology change and society article, let me know in the comments. Honestly, AI might just be another story about money, but that’s something for another day.

I am a pragmatist. The reason to be optimistic doesn’t come without significant work, adaptation and effort - but it is there.

I believe that there are so many people genuinely in need of something (in one way or another, relative to their own lives and situations), and such great disparities in the kinds of needs that people have.

I feel the demand of people currently in need is greatly outweighed by the supply of people ready and able to help.

It could be for anything from needing a person to talk to (e.g. loneliness or a need to connect), to a way to escape a war or just something to eat.

So why am I pragmatically optimistic?

Recently, I have been navigating wide across many people and networks, from all over the world and all walks of life.

I expect at some point there may be overwhelm for us from this trend, just like we become overwhelmed by any trend (or fad) that takes headspace in our minds.

There may be some who join the work who are out for the good of others, and some who are out for themselves. It may become difficult and tiring to navigate. Let us allow doing good work to help each other, to never become nauseating.

I do not make lightly of this - good will come only with what might seem to be significantly difficult work and effort on what may be seemingly impossible or insurmountable. Whatever it takes, let us not be deterred.

Soon, I will share more about how I am trying to do my little part to help (and it is truly just a little part - but I will try). I don’t know if I will succeed, but I can only try and find out. I am willing to fail and learn - therefore, there is no failure for me - only learning and hopefully helping.

But this is not about me - this is about how we create and support action that takes care of tomorrow by doing good today. I will try to be practical.

I invite everyone to try to do the same in their local (and local-virtual) communities, however you can.

People sit silently
in tiny cubes,
rarely conversing,
staring at
square screens,
square screens
that make
square eyes and square minds.
Square windows they see,
not... "as-is",
but... rather "to-be".

As they work,
they navigate
square grids,
deciphering
square data cells,
while they remain
trapped in their cubes,
like square prison cells,
where they
look
at square pictures,
and click
square buttons,
eat
square meals,
talk on
square phones
while they are
tracked by
square metrics
ensuring
square performance.

Square words with sharp edges,
make conversation
quite painful.

Square rhyme
and square reason,
obscure the passing season,
destroying the seas in,
the voyage of the mind.

Sometimes, it seems,
that square logic has won,
creativity is done,
and conversation is dead.

Long forgotten the times,
you'd see a tree, 
and ask yourself simply,
"Will I be free"?
Will you see,
all you can be,
when you stop being square,
(but still play fair),
and experience above all,
any shape you please?

After time has passed,
and humanity gone,
I hope it is found,
that our brains
(and the Earth)
are still, in fact, round.

Question: if the man went into the cave alone, spent his time alone in the cave, and emerged alone, by what means did the answer to the man's question become realized?

In this post, I hope to teach myself a lesson, and perhaps share what I learn with you, dear reader, as you read along.  One thing you might ask yourself, is, what kind of lesson could I be possibly trying to teach myself with such a seemingly simple question?  After all, isn't it obvious that the only source of an answer in a cave with a single man in it, is the man himself?  Well, let's find out.

Let's call the cave that the man goes into "the cave of answers", simply because the man goes in with a question and comes out with an answer.  What magical property of the cave gave the man the answer?  What was the question - and was it so simple that the man simply figured out the answer within the cave?  Was the cave what gave the man the answer, or was it the man himself who materialized the answer within the cave?

The cave is an ordinary, quiet cave, with a sandy, packed-dirt floor and solid, rocky walls.  Inside the cave, only a small amount of yellow-white sunlight pours in during the day, and pale moonlight by night, through a small opening in the roof of the cave.  No life makes itself  present in the cave - no plants, no animals, and no insects.  It is nothing more than rock, stone, sand and dirt.

The man enters the cave alone.  In a way, the man in the cave alone is much like the question in the man's head - a lone question in a cave seeking an answer.  Of course, in the man's head are all kinds of things that might provide an answer, but, sometimes the answer is not there.  The answer is not in the man's head, just like the answer is not in the cave.

Or is it?  In the end, does the answer come from the fact that when the man entered the cave, the swath of light cut out of the dirt floor formed a shape that the man recognized as familiar, a shape that would later turn out to be part of the answer to his question of geometry?

Or could the color of the sand be the answer to the question about the shade of brown with which to paint?

Could it very well be that entering such a quiet ordinary cave as this could in fact provide an answer to any question?  Well, it might be difficult, but the neat thing about the "cave of answers" is that it always has an answer, even if one is not obvious.  The "cave of answers" always provides an answer dependent on he who enters it.

We know this - a cave, such as the one described above, does not itself provide the answer to the question.  The cave simply exists and it is the man's experience within the cave, whether prompted by the man himself or his presence in the cave, which provides the answer.  Sometimes, the cave may not even provide the answer at all - which is, annoyingly, kind of an answer in and of itself.

I think we are all very much like this man in the cave.  We have one or many questions locked away in our heads, and the only answers we will ever truly know come from ourselves and our experiences.  We can fill our caves with knowledge from study, exposure, discussion.  But ultimately, perhaps, the answers we seek come from ourselves.  We may receive input and stimulus from people, or things, but the answers we find are like the decisions we make - generated from understanding which is formed within.

So the man goes into the cave, and it does not matter whether the man answers his own question or the "cave of answers" provides it to him.  He goes in with a question, and emerges with an answer, or an answer in the lacking of a specific answer.

It was the experience of going into the cave with a question that leads the man to the next step - to the next question or to the answer he sought.  Without going into the "cave of answers" seeking one, the question might never have been asked, the experience never had, the progress never made.

To end, I have heard it said before that "the answer is the question".  Perhaps the lesson that I learned from this thought exercise tonight is, to not ask the question - to not, in fact, live the question by entering the cave and seeking the answer - to not, in fact, have the experience - is not to live at all.

Better that we should ask the question and seek the answer by living the experience.  We must take care not to enter the cave and never be heard from again.  Better that we should enter the cave with care with our question than to persist with the question unanswered in our heads for eternity.  No question that enters the "cave of answers" ever goes unanswered.  Remember - even the lack of a specific answer is a kind of answer too.

Our head is like that cave - we fill it with questions, and the answers are in there somewhere.  Sometimes we need to look inwards to find the answer.  Sometimes, we can't answer our own questions directly - so we keep looking and keep living.

This morning's personal revelation (perhaps not novel to the reader, but certainly to the author): intelligence is adaptability.

Human adaptability - the ability to consciously (and unconsciously) change and adapt in relation to external and internal stimuli.  In other words, our ability to change in response to the world, our ability to be changed by the world, and our ability to change the world.

This idea is an extension to the famous quote by George Bernard Shaw from 1903: "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man".  I'd extend - progress depends on us, and we are all a little unreasonable, and we all adapt in different degrees.

When I considered who, as a society, we praise as a true genius or an intelligent person, we think of (in no particular order) great scientists, philosophers, artists, leaders, and even family, friends, loved ones... people who we respect for their accomplishments and/or possibly their relative importance to us.

And the one thing I see in common with all those people who came to my mind, when I tried to imagine who exactly those people were, is that each of them in one way or another somehow adapted something in some meaningful and important way that affected my thinking, and possibly my life.

I have so much more to say on this topic, and I hope to have more time to explore it later.  It just felt to me that this idea was worth sharing immediately, to be recorded (again) in this written "history" called the Internet.  Every time I have pondered what it meant to be truly adaptable, I have felt like I entered an entirely new plane of understanding.

For future thinking, then, I leave this - if true intelligence is adaptability, what is the relationship between intelligence and evolution?  And, what types of self-chosen, productive tasks, experiences or learning can be done which would hone and challenge our adaptability, beyond the experience of simply living life itself?

And what about those who do not adapt or refuse to adapt, are they not also intelligent?  Of course they are.  As odd as it sounds, it makes sense - not adapting, ignoring adaptation, or refusing to adapt in itself is still a form of adaptability.  We adapt without even realizing we do it.  But maybe, just maybe, we can reach a higher plane the more we practice adapting.

Perhaps recognizing the value of adaptability is just part of self-actualization, but I'm not sure.

I feel it is worth recognizing that the conceptual end of days/rapture can seem quite believable and possible, most especially at times when the spirit of humanity, and the spirit of the human good is diminished.

With all the recent challenges we have faced as humans, things that have threatened our very survival (weather, disasters, wars, emotional/physical stresses), it is no surprise that our spirit has been diminished.

You know, I don't like to take a stance that one religion, or another, is the "right" one, and it is not my place to be able to state that others may be right or wrong in what they believe.  I try to search, as I am sure you will hear me say many more times, for that which is clearly universal to us all.

It is with that sentiment that I put forth the following ideas (and they are most certainly not my own, but things I personally believe are true).

It is said, in many religions and beliefs, that we are all united by the fact that we share a common source.  Some call this source a "creator".  Some belief systems will say that God created us in his image, or that God or "a god" lives on inside us, or that we are all governed by such an entity.  Yet others may say that to compare ourselves to one or more "gods" is blasphemous.

Some of us believe that we all unified by being made of the same matter (atoms and molecules) that comprise the universe.  You may have heard the saying, "from dust you were made, and to dust you shall return".  Truthfully, I would venture a guess that no human alive would deny the concept that, generally speaking, we're all made of pretty much the same stuff: blood, flesh and bone.

While humans have a myriad of genetic differences, and my atoms and molecules might be mostly from one region of the Earth as contrasted with the reader, who might be made up of similar atoms and molecules but from totally different genetics, from a totally different place, let us make the following argument: we are, for most intents and purposes, the same kind of being - a human being.

It is not a leap of faith (pardon the pun), then, to think that our similarities can extend beyond the physical ones.  There are very few people in the world, I believe, who do not "feel" what it is to be a living human.  There may be cases where a human's ability to "feel" is inhibited by a physical malfunction in their body - but most humans do.  In the most basic sense of the word "feeling", I think most would agree that they have felt "experiences" with the real world from one of their physical senses, if not other senses (including emotional, mental or spiritual ones).

This "feeling" of living, of being human - that is what I like to think of as the human spirit.  And it's that feeling, when fatally diminished, that leads us ever closer to the concept defined by the "end of days".

Have you ever had a day where you personally felt like your world was ending?  We often use that saying as an expression of frustration.  Other times, for example, in the aftermath of a horrible disaster, emotional turmoil, or, say, returning from the horrors of war, we may very truly believe and feel like the end is right there - like we can't go any further.

I believe that when humans have given up on, well, being human - then in a way, we have temporarily forgotten our basic design.  In reality, in our basic design, we have been given the will to live, to succeed, to survive, to thrive, to grow, to learn, and to go on.

If you believe in evolution, look no further.  Most religions have some concept of continuity, whether in human form, or some other.  If you're a physicist, time still only moves in one direction no matter how much you might try to figure out how it may move in other directions (and who knows, it might!).

In Christian beliefs, it is said God is in each and every one of us, Jesus was a man (a human man!) who died for our sins, and we are linked together through the Holy Spirit.

Howsoever you see what it is that makes you human, I choose to think of the human spirit (which is within all of us) something like an old song I learned growing up.  Preferably, you would read its lyrics in a completely religion-agnostic manner and focus on the human value of the words.  You can learn more about this song by clicking the excerpt from that song below:

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..."

Dear reader, it is not my place to tell you I have the answer, or even to think that I do.  But, I will tell you that if nothing else, I have faith in humanity.  For all that is wrong, for all the suffering we bear as people, and for all that is to come, humanity is our common thread.  Being human/the human spirit is undoubtedly one of many possible links we share with each other.  The decisions we make shape our world, our lives, and ourselves.  Try as we might, we might not get it right.

We can always strive to live our lives as good humans, to the best of our abilities.  We can, we are, and we will, remain as one humanity among all of our differences. Whether we are judged as a whole, or one by one, it will be as humans.

I pray that our collective human spirit is consistently replenished by the comfort and goodness you feel when you remember that that little light of yours (your own humanity), links you to everyone and everything else, and maybe even the great beyond.  No matter what tomorrow brings, may peace be with you all, and always.

EDIT 5/25/2011: It was nice to see noted poet Maya Angelou interviewed on CNN.com, talking in a similar way about our shared humanity, and how the strength of our basic design/humanity comes through, especially in tough times.

Peace be to the people of the world.  Now is the time to unite, all nations - different people, yet all the same.  Bring forth your children and your family, help us to build a new world.  Look across the world, this tiny planet in a massive universe that is our home.  See the faces of people just like you.  We may believe different things, but just a single belief can bring together the people of this modern Babylon.  May we overcome together and build a future together, not apart.  Humanity deserves no less; we all deserve no less.  This world is not a dream - it is real, people are real, death is real and certain.  America will not forget its lost family as any nation would not forget their own families.  If it be so, let this be the action that brings the world together, and if it shall be, it will only be because we can make it so.

Stand by your leaders.  Leaders - unite around a common table.  People of this great world, stand united.

September 17th, 2001

Perhaps one measure of man is found in the distance we keep from true love and its power to transcend time, heal the world, and unite the people.

May all have the blessing, courage and conviction to believe in, act on, and experience this most precious human connection.

For fans of Douglas Adams' book The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, the "ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything" is as well known as the fact that the sun seems to rise every morning.

The question of the "answer to life" has been one which has puzzled me, as I'm sure it puzzles many others.  On a recent red-eye flight from California to New York, at 3 AM in some time zone, I had one of those moments of startling clarity where everything seems to make sense.  Perhaps, I thought, by flipping the problem around, I might find the "answer" I was seeking.

Time only appears to go in one direction (as much as we might like to believe that time travel is possible).  Does the answer to life reside in the comprehension of death?

Now, one's first reaction to such a question might be to consider it a morbid thought, as if hastening death.  That is certainly not my intention.  Another reaction could be to find fault with the simplistic obviousness of the question.  Yet another might find the concept to be typical of an always balancing Libra.  Well, dear reader, please allow me to explain why this particular thinking is neither morbid nor negative.  In fact, I believe that death can be seen as a beautiful complement to life.

Clearly, if one is to think about our existence from a philosophical perspective, death is the force that balances life.. such as yin is to yang.  Certainly, this is a somewhat logical interpretation of the concept.  But intuition tells me that there is something more.. something even simpler, deeper, and profound; something that doesn't require any philosophy at all.

It is in the consideration of life as having a "terminus", or an end point, that it becomes ever more clear that life, or "to live", is defined as "everything that occurs up until the endpoint, death".  Again, while this may not be a revolutionary concept, it is one that when considered plainly caused me to at least sit up straight and think about the fact that.. oh yeah - I'm living life right now!  How about that?

Sometimes, the simple recognition for just an instant/moment that one is alive, living, and breathing is a very meaningful, and powerful experience.

Just think about it - right now, you're sitting there reading this.. all you need consider is that you are there!  Alive!  Reading what I wrote!  Thinking thoughts along with me!  It is truly remarkable!

One thing I noticed, when contemplating death, is the innate fear we have of the thing.  I have a gut instinct that no matter who you are, or what you believe, it is an idea that is complex and usually not one that people choose to consider.  And yes, death can be quite unpleasant for so many reasons.  Yet, it is in the contemplation of the difference in state between life and death that we realize which one of the two we might value more at a given time.

Death, in and of itself, could be seen as sort of a grand, unifying force that equalizes all people.  Perhaps it's bad taste to use this as a comparison, but just like the children's book "Everybody Poops", which was written to point out our shared commonality while teaching body science... everybody dies, too.

While death is an interesting topic, I would rather return to the use of death as a balance to recognizing the value of life.  Regardless of religious belief of an afterlife, there can be almost no argument to the statement that death is a change in functional state which represents no longer living.

Therefore, we should focus on our lives, and living, before we reach the next state.  And oh, how much there is to experience in life, whether it be good or bad.  While we have only a certain degree of control over our lives, and the world around us, it seems to make sense that we should enjoy whatever occurs to us while we are in the state of living.  We should do so because it is only when we are "alive" that we get to experience those things.

Life, and living are good things, and a unique experience, which we can try to cherish, respect, and enjoy.  We learn, we grow, we age, we change.  While longer than the life of a butterfly, our lives are not much longer nor any less beautiful and amazing when considering a much grander time-scale.

These thoughts are humbling, to me at least.  Life and death should not necessarily be a cause for fear in daily action (although often they are a consideration), but rather as a reassurance since these forces unite us all for what we truly are.  These forces unite us, and they represent what it means "to be, or not to be"... but that is not a question.. because, we all are, and will have been, in much the same way!

The point of this blog is straightforward, although it will probably take many posts to find the right voice, the right writing style, and maybe, just maybe if we're lucky, some answers.

So what question(s) am I trying to address?  Well, like any typical Libra (and many other people who study the concept of balance), through observation and life experience it has occurred to me that there are a lot things that happen that weigh in on the balance in life.  Work vs life, career vs family, profit vs. non-profit - for everything I can think of there are always options, choices.

What must I do?  What do I want to do?  Why should I do it?  Why shouldn't I do it?  Should I spend money, or save money, or make money, or do I even need money?  Do you like your eggs over-easy, scrambled, or poached?  These are just a few of the questions.  And boy, there are a lot of questions.

I recognize that there are "different strokes for different folks", and everyone's life circumstances are different.  With that premise in mind, this blog is not only intended to be my own instrument to share my challenges, successes, and the things that make life worth living, but also to try to imagine, compare and contrast, discuss and debate my own thoughts and experiences with those of the reader.

The interesting thing about a scale or balance, I think, is that it never implies which option being weighed is better - that is always left for the "balancer" or "adjuster" to interpret.  The scale does one job very well - it compares weight blindly, purposefully.  Therefore, while there will be emotion and interpretation in this blog, I will also try to walk a fine line - a line where there is balance and equality in all things.  Therein lies the challenge, the quest, the query, and the journey.

With that, I conclude the "first post", with all the best intentions for more to come!